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| Alright. Listen. I don't normally post because frankly, my life isn't all that interesting. But, I figure that I need some form of documentation in the future to see how far I will have come in a year or so.
That said, here is a list of things that I never really dealt with until I hit this real world. Now that I'm dealing with them, they're just plain having a fabulous time mocking me.
1. Cooking chicken. I guess I really can't rule out my chances of bird flu.
2. Toilet bowl cleaner. They're not kidding when they say "Avoid squeezing the bottle while opening." My mirror and the open wound on my knee will vouch for that.
3. Internet. Some days I have it, some days I don't. Some days the cords work, some days they don't.
4. Air conditioning. Explain to me how I turned my heat on.
5. The United States Post Office. Please deliver my mail, including my drivers license because this temporary Colorado one expires on Friday.
6. Fruit. I sat for a good half hour at work deciding whether or not the brown banana would be mushy inside. I think I fascinate the people there.
7. Washer/Dryers. Tonight marks the second night that the lid of the washer has closed on my head.
Seriously. | | |
| Things I've Learned In Denver:
- My new address. This, however, came after I gave the wrong address to the entire state of Colorado including: the state department of education, the drivers license bureau, my new bank, the school I will be working at, etc.
- Having Ohio license plates allowed for not knowing where things were and for being a bad driver. My new Colorado plates, however, do not.
- The "Mile High City" literally means we are 5000-some feet closer to the sun.
- That being said, not wearing sunscreen at a Rockies game is unacceptable and leads to some killer sunburns and one very red nose.
- 95% of the time I have no idea where I am, and Mapquest is a bitch for not understanding that.
- Julie's idea of going into Starbucks and holding up a sign offering to pay for someones coffee if they will just be my friend might actually improve my social status.
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| Tonight I decided to pick up a shift of hostessing at the Old Bag of Nails. I haven't worked since December.
That said, I answered the phone:
"Good evening, Old Bag of Cheryls, this is Nail, how may I help you?"
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| Look at how little we knew about our friend Chris Eppley.
ChrisEpley: you forgot about my history?? i'll fill you in
ChrisEpley: first i was a pro nfl quarterback
ChrisEpley: but
ChrisEpley: i couldn't continue due to my war injuries
ChrisEpley: i earned 15 purple hearts
ChrisEpley: then i was a superhero
ChrisEpley: and i was cooler than spiderman
ChrisEpley: then i got a job as a music teacher
ChrisEpley: that about sums it up
A pro NFL quarterback? And such a scrawny little man he is.
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| If you know me well at all, you know I am a worrier. And at the stage
of life that I am in right now, you would think I'd have a lot of
things that I'd be worrying about, such as graduating two months from
today, moving across the country in two and a half, student teaching,
becoming a licensed teacher, being alone in the dorms while the rest of
campus is on spring break, bird flu...you get the picture.
But I'm not.
The thought that is consuming my mind the most these past few days is
"how in the world am I going to be able to look the men who are fixing
my car in the eye ever again?"
In my rush to drop my car off yesterday morning and get my rental, I
left something very, very embarrassing in my car's CD player.
My "guilty pleasures mix."
This consists of Tina Turner singing "I Ain't Missing You At All,"
followed by a haunting rendition of Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time,"
and then Eminem's "Lose Yourself."
And if that's not bad enough..."Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" is on there too. 
I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.
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